


Wizards' Live Messenger

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-04
Updated: 2008-09-09
Packaged: 2019-01-19 14:18:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12411936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Ever wondered what would happen if we put some of our favourite characters in an online chat? Read to find out! And leave me a review, too! xD





	1. And You Are...?

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

 

This fanfic is called: Wizards' Live Messenger!

Plot: Everyone just so happens to meet up in a chat room. And not to mention that they also have laptops. And this is like...past present mixed together! Enjoy! Bon Appétit!

Characters: Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Young Lily Potter, Young James Potter, Young Sirius Black, Young Remus Lupin, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Serra Potter.

One day, Fred Weasley is surfing the web, when he comes across a chat room that looked appealing to his taste. He decided to join.

-Fred Weasley has signed in as Gred.

** Gred ** : Helloooo?

** Herra ** : Heyy Mate 2!

** Gred ** : Sup Matette??

** Herra ** : just finished dinner with u guys. not a lot has happened in those nine minutes. urself?

** Herra ** : and don’t try asking me for a puking pastille. i tried it once, remember? it tasted like...

** Gred ** : puke?

** Herra ** : no. more like..

** Gred ** : eyes? blood? feces? shoes? Sirius's cooking? Moody?

** Herra ** : Fred, wth do you come UP with these things? i mean, i was GONNA say tonks's hair...

** -George Weasley has signed in as Feorge. **

** **

** Gred ** : hi bro.

** Herra ** : hello Mate 1!

** Feorge ** : hey Matette. wat r u guys talking about?

** Herra ** : Essence of Mad Eye.

** Gred ** : Care to join in? we were actually thinking. what flavour are puking pastilles?

** Feorge: ** you mean you were ACTUALLY thinking?!

** -Draco Malfoy has signed in as Draconator. **

** **

** Herra ** : well looky here! its Draco!

** Gred ** : finally deiced to look away from the mirror once, Malfoy?

** Feorge ** : no, he probably has one in his hand as we speak.

** Herra: ** i bet his whole room is composed of mirrors.

** Draconator ** : oh, shut up. you're just jealous that you're hair isnt silky smooth.

Gred: oh, we beg to differ! have you even FELT Serra's hair? or her dog's?

** Feorge ** : DON'T THINK SO!

Herra:...you guys've felt my hair? I dont even feel my own hair!

**-Lily Evans has signed in as LilyLaLoca**

** Draconator ** : of COURSE i dont feel Serra Potter's hair! i mean its...RED! who has red hair? HONESTLY!

** LilyLaLoca ** : um...me. i have red hair. and btw: i always loved the name Serra...and i vowed to name my first girl Serra...

** Gred ** : HAHAHAHAH! YOU GOT BURNED BY SOMEONE DEAD! Hello Madam Potter, good to see you;re on teh internet.

** Feorge ** : TOUCHE! Good evening, Mrs Potter. How are you on this fine, lovely, alive evening?

** Herra: ** thanks:D! and YAY! Red haired pride!!

** Draconator: ** yeah...umm...brb..

- **Draconator has set his status as away.**

** **

** -James Potter has signed in as Prongs **

** **

** LilyLaLoca ** : wait...im confused...whya re you calling me Madam Potter and Mrs Potter?

** Prongs: ** gah! what's wrong with that?

** LilyLaLoca ** : hmm...lets see. YOU!

** Gred: ** OUCH!

** Feorge ** : OH!

** -Sirius Black has signed in as Padfoot **

** **

** Gred ** : BURN!

** Feroge ** : DISS!

** Padfoot ** : COLD!

** Gred ** : DRY!

** LilyLaLoca ** : WILL YOU SHUT UP?!

** Herra ** : giggles

** Padfoot ** : Sorry, Lils.

** Gred ** : yeah, i sincerely apologize, Mrs Potter.

** Feorge ** : forgive me, Madam Potter.

** Herra ** : umm..i think u guys r freaking out my mom...

** Prongs ** : what do you mean, your mom?

** Padfoot ** : LILY! YOU HAVE A KID? NAMED HERRA?!

** Herra: ** Sirius, please. My name is Serra. me and Harry switched the first letters of our names...

** -Harry Potter has signed in as Sarry **

** **

** Herra ** :...speak of the devil...hey Harry.

** Sarry ** : Hi Serra

**Gred** : HARRY! BABY!

**Feorge** : HOW'VE YOU BEEN?!

**Gred** : WE HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN AGES DARLING!

**Feorge** : OH, HOW RAVISHING THE LAST DINNER WE HAD TOGETHER WAS!

**Sarry** : umm..u guys? we just had dinner 15 mins ago. in fact, we r stting in the same room. at grimmauld place...where my godfather lives...u know sirius...

**Herra** : Just ignore themm...

**Padfoot** : What do you MEAN...you know sirius? and im no godfather! heck, i cant wait to meet the idiot who names me godfather of their child..

**LilyLaLoca** : probably Potter.

**Herra/Sarry/Prongs:** which one?

**LilyLaLoca** : oh this is ridiculous. who are you, Herra and Sarry?

**Gred** : you mean Serra and Harry

**Feorge** : no, she means Herra and Sarry.

**Gred** : Yes

**Feorge** : no

**Sarry** : dont even START!

**Gred/Feorge** : sorry, mate.

**Prongs** : LOOK! whoever you are, cut the crap! what r ur real names?

- **Remus Lupin has signed in as Moony**

**Herra** : my name is Serra Potter.

**Sarry** : my name is Harry Potter.

**Moony** : my name is Remus Lupin. James, you have kids?

**Prongs** : NO!

**LilyLaLoca** : no, Potter didnt. but there r 2 ppl in here that insist they are potter kids.

**Gred** : They are!

**Feorge** : we solmenly swear that HArry and Serra are authentic Potters.

**Moony:** i have an idea. Serra, can you tell me what year it is?

**Herra:** 1998, duh.

**Padfoot** : NO ITS NOT! LIESS! its probably Snivellus playing a trick on us.

**Serra:** you mean Professor Snape? no, i guarantee we r not snape.

**LilyLaLoca:** you mean Sev became a Professor?

**Prongs:** WOW! WHAT KIND OF IDIOT WILL HIRE HIM?!

**Moony:** let's focus on one this, here. It's 1980 over here. how is this possible?

**Gred:** umm..we MAY have somethin to do with that

**Feorge:** yeah...umm..we kinda stole Hermione's time turner and..umm...placed some laptops in the past...

**Sarry:** A HA! I KNEW IT WAS YOU! but if we're talking to the past..then THATS why you guys dont know who we r

**Gred/Feorge:** yeah...umm..we're out. and we'll block Malfoy while we're at it. Marauder/Potter conversation. ciao.

**-Gred is now offline.**

**-Feorge is now offline**

**-Draconator is now blocked from this conversation. To unblock, click the green icon at the top of this conversation.**

**LilyLaLoca:** okay, so let me get this straight. no wait. Remus, you do it.

**Moony:** okay. Lily married James, and they had two children named Harry Potter and Serra Potter, and Sirius was named Godfather. And apparently, Lily and James will die, I'm guessng at the hands of Voldemort, and they children move in with Sirius at grimmauld place with a bunch of other kids.

**Prongs:** WHEE! I GET TEH WOMAN! I GET THE WOMAN!

**Padfoot:** BABYMAKERS! BABYMAKERS! AND I GET TO BE GODFATHER!

**LilyLaLoca** : SCREAMS IN UTTER REVOLTEDNESS at least i get to die before it all sinks in!

**Herra:** umm..yeah. about that. Moony is my godfather, and Paddles is Harry's. and we live in grimmauld place after Sirius escapes azkaban and has to live undercover, but nobody ever finds him. he's in azkaban because he was accused of murdering Peter Pttigrew, but he really didnt. the low rat ran to Voldemort himself

Sarry: and gave away your hiding place, and becamse a death eater. then voldemort found you and dad and killed you but he wast able to kill me and Serra. instead, we r scarred for life. the end.

**Padfoot:** whoa man. azkaban... my life is crap...

**Herra:** umm..about that, Paddles..umm..yeah...we kida get...married...

**Prongs:** so...my daughter marries my best friend?

**LilyLaLoca:** meh, cant complain. but peter? he betrays us?

**Sarry:** yeah. and that obese little coward tried to kill all of us.

**Padfoot:** so let me get this straight: i get married?

**Herra:** yeah! to me!

**Moony** : whoa... thats some life...WHO DO I MARRY?

**Sarry** : you're not married yet, but you're in love with Nymphadora Tonks, a metamorphagus, the daughter of Sirius's cousin, Andromeda Black. she's really nice actually.

**Herra:** and she doesnt even care that you're a werewolf! arent you fortunate? and she's also big on chocolate like a CERTAIN wizard i know...wink wink

**Padfoot:** wait, wait. So me, Sirius Black, marries the youngest daughter of James and Lily Potter?

**LilyLaLoca:** One false move, buddy. just ONE.

**Prongs:** I swear, I feel so sorry for my poor kid. marrying Padfoot! the annoying little insect! do u have kids?

**Sarry:** spits out pumkin juice HELL NO! NOT YET!

**Herra:** and HARRY'S DATING GINNY WEASLEY!!

**Moony:** you mean the child of Arthur and Molly Weasley?

**Prongs** : you mean those poor people who just got publicised for building that run down old shack? what's it called?

**LilyLaLoca** : The Burrow? oh..umm...well...

**Padfoot:** HARRY DATES A HOBO?!

**Herra** : I marry man on the run from the law. things even out.

**Sarry:** and they're not hobos. they actually are nice people

**Herra:** and they are our best friends. them and a muggleborn. a brilliant one too.

**LilyLaLoca** : so you;re best friends are a bunch of blood traitors, a convicted felon, a werewolf, a muggleborn, and a metamorphagus?

**Moony:** wowwwww...looooosers

**Padfoot:** i hopr you realize that you're the werewolf..

**Prongs** : and youre the convicted felon.

**Herra:** and you're dead.

**Sarry** : basically, yeah.

**LilyLaLoca:** LAUGHS UNTIL WHEEZES

**Padfoot** : ...yeahh...so what do you look like, anyways?

**Moony** : good question.

**Herra:** I'm a carbon copy of mum, but i have dad's eyes. I have mum's intelligence and dad's nerve.

**LilyLaLoca** : awwww! how CUTE! a mini me! (L)

**Sarry** : yeah, but i look EXACTLY like dad, but i have mums eyes. and dad'd wit.

**Herra:** yeah, Harry's an idiot.

**Sarry:** HEY!

**Herra** : sniggers

**Sarry:** anyways, we both wear glasses. out eyesight SUCKS.

**Herra:** yeah, like REALLY sucks. Sirius once knocked over my glasses, and i ended up hugging Ron Weasley. i should have seen him, though. i mean, Sirius had long black hair, and Ron has long orange hair.

**Sarry:** and the time Voldemort hit me so hard my glasses broke. man that was hell. i ended up hexing Hermione. She's the muggleborn. she was never the same since...she's got a scar right under her left cheekbone.

**Padfoot** : HA! AHAHAHAHAH! you see?! I KEEP MY LONG MANE OF SILKY, GORGEOUS HAIR!

**Moony:** oh, grow up.

**LilyLaLoca:** vain

**Prongs** : you're so arrogant, i swear.

**Sarry** : I he sounds like Malfoy, doesnt he, Serra?

**Herra** : yeah! lol! total Draco right there:P

**Padfoot** : FINE! im leaving! see you in the future,

**-Padfoot is now offline.**

**LilyLaLoca** : yeah, it's late here. nice to met you, kids. i hope ill see you in the future.

**Herra:** bye mum. love of love.

**Sarry:** bye!

**Prongs** : LOTS OF LOVE, EVANS!

**Moony:** shut up prongs. anyways, see you in a few years.

**-Moony is now offline.**

- **LilyLaLoca** is now offline.

**Prongs** : WHEE! 2 LITTLE ME'S! GO ME! GO ME!

**Herra** : IM A LITTLE LILY:P

**Sarry:** IM THE LITTLE JAMES:D

**Herra:** anyways, Paddles is calling me. bye dad!

**Prongs:** bye Serra! hugs and kisses. and say hi to Suirius for me.

**Herra:** see, i WOULD if i didnt want to freak him out. hehe...bye!

**-Herra is now offline.**

**Sarry:** I'm going to go annoy the hell out of Professor Lupin. Bye!

**Prongs:** bye kid.

**-Sarry is now offline**.

**Prongs** : so is there anyone else here?

ghost at random: me.

**Prongs** : screams like a school girl

**-Prongs is now offline.**

**ghost at random** : they always do that...

A/N: so how do you like my little chat room? and do you think that i should make a new Serra Black Series?

(8)Leave me a review, and I'll get back to you!(8)

xXxo0oxXx

Charah.tastic ;D

 


	2. Voldemort: The Dark Idiot.

 

A/N: Hi everybody! pause for applause ……ouch hehe! Well, the second chapter is up, stop for unorthodox applause….pshhh now they clap! giggles anyways, enjoy the second of my lovely little chat rooms.

Characters in this one: Harry potter, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Voldemort, Bellatrix Lestrange, Neville Longbottom and Sirius Black.

Disclaimer: had I owned Harry Potter, then it would have been this romantic story where Voldemort dies because the world is full of love. Too much love for him to handle.

Once upon a day in number 12, Grimmauld Place, our beloved Harry Potter was in a chat room, arguing with none other thank our equally beloved woss, Draco Malfoy.

** dAsEeKeR ** : Malfoy, a Firebolt® is wayyyy faster than a Nimbus 2001®.

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR: ** no it isn’t, Potter!

** dAsEeKeR ** : yes it is! Are you freaking kidding me?! Mine is better.

- _Tom Marvolo Riddle has signed in as_

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR ** : Potter, everyone knows that mine is longer. And the longer it is, the better performance it delivers.

** dAsEeKeR:  ** yeah, its longer. But mine has two handles to hold onto when it starts to get bumpy or uncomfortable.

** AvadayourKedavra ** : what in the name of……Voldemort are you talking about?! That’s disgusting!

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR:  ** what do you think we’re talking about?

** dAsEeKeRI: ** bet that you don’t even have one.

** AvadayourKedavra:  ** gah! OF COURSE I have one! What kind of a stupid question is that?

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR:  ** oh yeah? Well what’s it called?

** AvadayourKedavra:  ** you have NAMES for them, now?! Boys these days are getting even more perverted.

** dAsEeKeR: ** …they always used to have names….and what does perverted have to do with it?

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR:  ** yeah..Honestly! Mine’s a Nimbus 2001®. Potter’s is a Firebolt®.

** AvadayourKedavra: ** ..Oh. You boys are talking about…Broomsticks? In that case, no. I do not have one, nor do I need one. I can fly.

- _Luna Lovegood had signed in as_

** dAsEeKeR:  ** hi Luna. What’s up?

** Lo0onathemo0ona:  ** hello Harry. Not a lot, just reading the Quibbler. Did you know that Wrackspurt rates are increasing?

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR ** sneers are you kidding me, Loony Lovegood? There is no such thing as a Wrackspurt.

** AvadayourKedavra:  ** wait… Lovegood…I know that name… AHA! Is your father Xenophilius Lovegood?

** Lo0onathemo0ona:  ** yes. He’s the editor-in-chief of the Quibbler.

** dAsEeKeR: ** hey….wait…. how do you know, Voldemort? All right. Whose death are you planning?

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR: ** oh, he was planning to capture Loony so that he could convince Xenophilius to lure Harry into his trap.

** Lo0onythemo0ony:  ** wow! I’m getting captured by He Who Must Not Be Named? How important! Will you let me live? And can I please have a cell away from any moss? I want to keep the Nimphores away. And I will require the Quibbler.

** AvadayourKedavra:  ** Oh. My. Grindelwald. Fine, I’ll compensate: no moss and ill let you have the Quibbler. But I’ll have to think about the letting you live, though. Are you annoying?

** dAsEeKeR:  ** no. She’s just freakishly weird.

** - ** _ Sirius Black has signed in as  _

** Lo0onythemo0ony:  ** hello Sirius Black.

** Konvict:  ** do I know you?

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR:  ** yeah. Everyone knows Loony Lovegood. Her dad owns the Quibbler. snigger

** Konvict:  ** are you serious? Honestly… your dad’s the one who thinks that I’m a rock star! laughs like an idiot and is told to shut up by Moony

** AvadayourKedavra:  ** REALLY?! What an IDIOT! Sirius Black, a rock star? Damn girl. You’re dad is dumb.

** dAsEeKeR:  ** yeah….um Voldemort? You’re one to talk. I just figured out what u thought me and Malfoy were talking about. Freaking sicko.

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR:  ** what? What did he think we were talking about? Potter! What?

** Konvict:  ** LMAO! WOW! THANKS HARRY! MAN, Voldemort is an IDIOT!

** Lo0onythemo0ony:  ** giggles wow, that is funny!

** AvadayourKedavra:  ** oh, shut up. Anybody would have thought that. Send the conversation to ONE MORE PERSON, POTTER.

- _Hermione Granger has signed in as_

** Lo0onythemo0ony:  ** hi Hermione. How are you?

** LibraryQueen77:  ** hi Luna. I’m fine, you?

** Konvict:  ** what’s up Hermione?

** dAsEeKeR: ** hey ‘Mione. You want to see something funny?

** AvadayourKedavra:  ** I’m warning you, Potter….

** LibraryQueen77:  ** is that Voldemort? Anyways, yeah sure Harry.

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR:  ** I still don’t get it!

** Lo0onythemo0ony:  ** dumb blonde.

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR:  ** yeah, well you’re blonde too.

** Lo0onythemo0ony:  ** yeah, but I’m in Ravenclaw.

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR: ** touché.

** LibraryQueen77:  ** LOL! That’s so0o0o0o stupid! Voldemort, you’re an IDIOT!

** AvadayourKedavra:  ** shut up, Mudblood.

** dAsEeKeR:  ** stupid Dark Lord. Oh, this is THICK.

- _Neville Longbottom has signed in as_

** LibraryQueen77:  ** hi Neville. You want to see something stupid and funny?

** HerbKing:  ** sure, ‘Mione.

** Lo0onythemo0oy: ** hello Neville.

** HerbKing:  ** Luna! How are you?

** dAsEeKeR: ** ‘sup Neville?

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR:  ** Loony, are you going out with Longbottom? What’s with all the happy faces?

** Konvict:  ** it’s an outcast thing. Like Voldemort, for example.

** HerbKing:  ** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! VOLDEMORT, YOU’RE SO DUMB! WOW!

** AvadayourKedavra:  ** POTTER! STOP SENDING THAT WRETCHED CONVERSATION TO OTHERS!

** dAsEeKeR: ** and if I don’t? what r u gonna do about it? Kill me?

- _Bellatrix Lestrange has signed in as_

** Konvict:  ** cuz!

** AvadayourKedavra:  ** Bella! My loyal Death Eater! How are you?

** HerbKing:  ** screams Bellatrix Lestrange! That Bth!

** D.E. Queen:  ** um…wow. I didn’t know my presence was so…awaited.

** LibraryQueen77:  ** trust me, its not.

** Lo0onythe mo0ony:  ** yeah…umm…You’re kind of… Dark. Not to mention that you’re a Muggle pop sensation.

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR: ** oh, God give me patience.

** HerbKing:  ** Luna, no offence, but that doesn’t make sense.

** Konvict:  ** nothing the girl says makes sense.

** D.E.Queen:  ** I’m guessing you already told her about the Dark Lord’s plot to capture her, huh?

** AvadayourKedavra:  ** yeah. She requested a cell with no moss to keep away the Nimphores.

** LibraryQueen77:  ** Luna, I give up on you. I swear… you’re so… WEIRD!

** dAsEeKeR:  ** agreed. By the way, Bellatrix you want to see something funny?

** D.E.Queen:  ** yes.

** HerbKing:  ** I think Voldemort is getting pissed.

** AvadayourKedavra:  ** you think?

** D.E.Queen:  ** OH MY DARK LORD! THAT IS HILARIOUS! WHAT AN IDIOT! DID SOMEONE PERMANENTLY STUPEFY YOU?

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR:  ** Aunt Bellatrix! Tell me what’s so funny!

** Konvict:  ** don’t tell him, Bellatrix. I like watching Narcissa’s kid suffer.

** AvadayourKedavra:  ** screams in frustration I’m LEAVING!

_ -has signed off. _

** LibraryQueen77:  ** yeah, Harry, Sirius, Neville and Luna, I have some Runes homework to do. Bye! Off to my kingdom

- _is now offline._

** Lo0onythemo0ony:  ** she means the library.

** Konvict:  ** can you be any more obvious?

** Lo0onythemo0ony:  ** yes. But sadly, I have to go. Daddy and I are going Yreka hunting. Tootles!

- _is now offline._

** dAhOtTeRsEeKeR: ** AH! PANSY PARKINSON’S STEALING MY HAIR GEL!

- _is now offline._

** D.E.Queen:  ** what the bloody hell is a Yreka? Wait, I don’t want to know.

- _is now offline._

** dAsEeKeR:  ** Neville, where’d you go?

** HerbKing:  ** my plant’s losing control. The one my gran got me from Assyria for my birthday. Sorry, harry, but I have to go.

- _is now offline._

** dAsEeKeR:  ** I guess its just you and me.

** Konvict:  ** yeah, NO.

- _is now offline._

** dAsEeKeR:  ** wow, my Godfather loves me.

** Ghost:  ** he truly, really does.

** dAsEeKeR:  ** screams like a girl

** - ** _ is now offline. _

** Ghost:  ** wow, I feel loved.

A/N: there u go! For those who requested some more Draco Malfoy, I hope you enjoy. If you want more chapters, then….

(8)Leave me a review, and I’ll get back to you!(8)

xXxo0oxXx

Charah.tastic;D

 


	3. Do something about your hair!

** A/N: ** hi again...just thought you'd like to know for those who asked me about it that my computer is messed…...whenever I try to put an action between stars, it doesn’t work, so I’m going to try to put them in these/\\\\...ok? Ok!

** Disclaimer: ** if I owned Harry Potter, do you think that I’d be wallowing in self pity about why I don’t own Harry Potter? No, I think not.

** Characters:  ** James Potter, Sirius Black, Lily Evans, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Fleur Delacour, Albus Dumbledore, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger.

let the story begin!

Today, our story begins with Albus Dumbledore, who is on his Mac®, surfing Google®, Ask®, and iTunes® in pursuit of a podcast on quilting patterns. He comes across the path of a chat room of his interest, and decides to enter it.

_ -Albus Dumbledore has signed in as _ ** KnitTheDore. **

** KnitTheDore:  ** hello?

** SillyLily:  ** hi Professor.

** SeriouslySirius:  ** 'sup big Al?

** Name'sJames:  ** hey P.D.

** KnitTheDore:  ** Hello Miss Evans, Mr. Black and Mr. Potter. How are you on this lovely evening?

** SeriouslySirius:  ** same old, same old.

** Name'sJames:  ** speaking of old...

** KnitTheDore:  ** don’t push your luck, Mr. Potter.

** Name'sJames:  ** shutting up...

** SillyLily:  ** that's the best idea you've had all day! And we've been working on a History of Magic report for 13 HOURS!

** SeriouslySirius:  ** speaking of history...

** KnitTheDore:  ** Mr. Black! Shut up!

** SillyLily:  ** He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let him fool you. He really is an idiot.

_ -Severus Snape has signed in as  _ ** Notions4Potions **

** Name'sJames:  ** what brings you here, Snivellus?

** Notions4Potions:  ** not you. I was in pursuit of Lily. I hadn’t found her in the library, and she's normally there at 5:26 pm on until 8:34 pm. every Wednesday, Thursday and normally Saturdays if she's not in Hogsmeade.

** SeriouslySirius:  ** wow...we've a stalker who's as slick as the grease on his hair.

** Notions4Potions:  ** this coming from a dog?

** SillyLily:  ** and might I add a dog that has a stench strong enough to make You-Know-Who himself vomit?

_ -Ron Weasley has signed in as  _ ** Queasley. **

** Name'sJames:  ** Lils, I don't think Sirius smells THAT bad. I mean, once you share a dorm with him, you kind of get used to it. Besides, it’s Big Al that smells funny.

** Queasley:  ** who's Big Al?

** KnitTheDore:  ** it is I, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Mr. Black just finds it rather humorous to call me Big Al. And I do not smell STRANGE!

** Queasley:  ** umm...now that Sirius brings it up, you kind of do smell funny. Not that it's your fault. You’re 150 years old. At least you smell better than my Aunt Muriel.

** SillyLily:  ** you guys are RUDE! I mean...he doesn’t really smell THAT bad. Give him credit. At least he smells better than Nearly Headless Nick’s Death day party.

_ -Hermione Granger has signed in as  _ ** ElvesNeedHats **

** KnitTheDore:  ** Miss Granger! Of course! How silly of me to look you over!

** ElvesNeedHats:  ** Ok, I’ll bite.

** Queasley:  ** ….you’ll bite?

** Name’sJames:  ** What exactly will you bite?

** SeriouslySirius:  ** And how exactly does it taste?

** Notions4Potions:  ** Never have I been in the presence of such inappropriate people.

** SillyLily:  ** I feel you, Sev. I would leave, but sadly I have nothing better to do. And it is quite funny to watch Potter and Black make fools of themselves.

** KnitTheDore:  ** Yes, I relatively agree with Miss Evans. Mrs. Black and Potter, brains aren’t everything. In fact, in your case, they are nothing.

** Queasley:  ** Nice one, sir.

** Name’sJames:  ** What do you MEAN “Mrs. Black and Potter”?!

** SeriouslySirius:  ** Do we look gay to you?! Anyways, we were talking about a pogo stick. But do we look gay to you, seriously?!

** ElvesNeedHats:  ** Do you really want him to answer that?

** KnitTheDore:  ** I apologize. It was a typo. But yes, you doo look somewhat homosexual.

_ -Fleur Delacour has signed in as  _ ** BlondeAttraction. **

** Queasley:  ** /stutter\\\ hi Fleur…

** BlondeAttraction:  ** ‘ello Ronald.

** ElvesNeedHats:  ** oh, honestly Fleur. You even type with an accent!

** KnitTheDore:  ** I actually believe that Miss Delacour is being rather wise. It would seem somewhat random is she typed like any other Brit. Don’t you agree?

** BlondeAttraction:  ** oui, merci Monsieur Dumbledore. ‘Ow are you, Ronald? And more importantly, ‘ow is Bill?

** SillyLily:  ** is this Blondie French?

** SeriouslySirius:  ** I bet she’s Spanish.

** Notions4Potions:  ** she’s OBVIOUSLY French, idiots.

** Name’sJames:  ** NO! Spanish people ignore H’s too!

** BlondeAttraction:  ** I’m French. Do you ‘appen to know any Spanish person ‘oo says “oui” and “merci” and “monsieur”?

_ -Draco Malfoy has signed in as  _ ** BlondeAndGorgeous. **

** Queasley:  ** oh, hey look! A real live gay person!

** ElvesNeedHats:  ** Malfoy. Have you ever considered turning away from a mirror?

** KnitTheDore:  ** well, give him credit. At least he cares about his appearance.

** Name’sJames:  ** so what you’re saying is that basically me and Padfoot don’t?

** SillyLily:  ** no. That would be a lie bigger than me saying that my hair is not red.

** BlondeAttraction:  ** euuuwww! You ‘ave red ‘air? ‘Ow disgusting!

** Notions4Potions:  ** it is not NEARLY as disgusting as blondes!

** KnitTheDore:  ** I beg to differ, Severus. Nothing is more disgusting than your hair.

** Queasley:  ** well...There was the time that Hermione asked me to borrow my brush and she had to use ‘Reparo’ like…948873908238 times. This woman’s hair is B-U-S-H-Y!

** ElvesNeedHats:  ** Ron!! That was a S-E-C-R-E-T! Anyways, at least I don’t have ginger hair. Like the rest of my family. \\\cough cough/

** BlondeAndGorgeous:  ** anyways, everyone knows that blondes rule. Our hair is so…shiny…so sexy….so gorgeous…

** KnitTheDore:  ** well, silver hair is equally as valuable. Nobody in here has silver hair.

** SeriouslySirius:  ** well, nobody in here is over 18.

** Name’sJames:  ** and nobody’s hair is lower than their butts.

** KnitTheDore:  ** ahh, James. The day I cut my hair is the day Severus washes his.

** Notions4Potions:  ** HEY! What did I ever do to you?!

** BlondeAttraction:  ** your ‘air. Eet disgusts me.

** SeriouslySirius:  ** hahahahaha Snivellus!

** ElvesNeedHats: ** well, Professor Dumbledore does make a good point. I mean, his HAIR. You can make a grease factory out of it.

** BlondeAndGorgeous:  ** I use Sun Silk! It keeps my hair nice and blonde and shiny.

** Queasley:  ** I use something a little less gay. Like Head and Shoulders. It keeps my colour nice and rich. And keeps me straight, unlike Malfoy. Gaylord.

** Name’sJames:  ** yeah, well I use Pantene Pro V. that way, my hair is always sexy.

** SillyLily:  ** Potter, that’s a lie and a half. You’re hair is not sexy. It’s dry. And it would get better if you stopped running your hands through it every now and then. It ticks me off. And by the way, there is NO shampoo greater than Suave.

** SeriouslySirius:  ** uh, hate to break it to you darling, but there is. It starts with a L and ends with an oreal.

** Notions4Potions:  ** yeah. That’s your problem. You use all these expensive luxuries for your hair. I’m a wizard, so I simply use ‘Scourgify’.

** KnitTheDore:  ** Are you freaking kidding me?! You wash your hair with WATER?! Have you ever actually USED shampoo? Or even SOAP?! Or SELSUN BLUE?!

** BlondeAttraction:  ** Vous êtes très stupide. Everyone ‘ere knows zat ze greatest shampooing ever eez…

** ElvesNeedHats:  ** what? Like, honestly. Your hair can’t be real it honestly looks fake. Faux. Unreal.

** Queasley:  ** Shut up, ‘Mione. What is it Fleur….?

** BlondeAttraction:  ** Johnsons’ Baby Shampoo. Its keeps ze ‘air très, très, très soft. C’est magnifique!

** ElvesNeedHats:  ** Oh! I used to use that….when I was three.

** BlondeAttraction:  ** you are just jealous. You do not ‘ave my gorgeous hair.

** BlondeAndGorgeous: ** you tell it like it is sister! That girl’s hair is so bushy that when I first saw her, I thought she was an escaped Mandrake from Herbology.

** Queasley:  ** shut up, Malfoy. When I first saw you, I thought you were a woman. Your mom is manlier than you. And trust me; your mom is F-E-M-I-N-I-N-E!

** KnitTheDore:  ** Ouch, Mr. Weasley. That was cold. That was dry. You burned him bad.

** Notions4Potions:  ** I am leaving I cannot tolerate any more of this nonsense. I’ll see you later, Lily.

** SillyLily:  ** I’m with you on that, Sev. Why don’t we just go meet in the library now? I’ve had enough of working with Potter and Black.

_ -Severus Snape has signed out. _

_ -Lily Evans has signed out. _

** Name’sJames:  ** oh, damn, they’re going to be in the library alone together. I need to go spy.

_ -James Potter has signed out. _

** SeriouslySirius:  ** Yay! Opportunity! I’m going to watch James make a fool of himself. Tootles.

_ -Sirius Black has signed out. _

** KnitTheDore:  ** I NEED to find a Godforsaken quilting pattern! I need tips!

** ElvesNeedHats:  ** I’m a rather accomplished quilter! Shall I meet you in the room of requirement now?

** KnitTheDore:  ** yes! Thank MERLIN!

_ -Hermione Granger has logged out. _

_ -Albus Dumbledore has logged out. _

** Queasley:  ** I’m going to……the bathroom…..the one on the seventh floor… next to the come and go room…. BYE

**_ _ ** _ -Ron Weasley has signed out. _

** BlondeAndGorgeous:  ** it’s just you and me now, Fleur. What say we go to the salon and get ourselves a makeover?

** BlondeAttraction:  ** I would love to. ‘Ow about we Apparate to Paris? Or Toronto? I ‘ear they ‘ave a great salon called Jie….

_ -Draco Malfoy has signed out. _

_ -Fleur Delacour ‘as singed out. _

** Ghost:  ** nobody to scare this time….

A/N: this one may have sucked, but I was dedicating it to Jie, my buddy and his salon that just shut down cuz he’s moving L… so anyways, I’ll make a funnier chapter next time, and I hope you read all of the future chapters to come!

(8)Leave me a Review, and I’ll get back to you!(8)

charah.tastic ;D


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